3/9 Update Prologue Breakdown

Hey- Readers.

I just realized I dated my last entry incorrectly. Embarrassing. It’s fixed now.

So, February was pretty rough as far as linear progress on Revision Three edits go. Excuses aside, here is something I have done, and how I managed to do it.

A little back story to the content you’re about to see below.

The subject of the content was original nested and woven into the narrative of Chapter 2 in my original rough draft for Titan 3030. In my second revision, after rereading it and receiving feedback, I decided to remove a lot of what had been out-of-context-narrative from Chapter 2 and place it in the Prologue.

The following content is not the entirety of the prologue, but merely one element of it.

When I started revision three on the prologue, it was technically the second revision of the text-as-prologue and not-as-chapter-2, so the intensity and thoroughness of the revision needed to catch up the text, as it were to the quality of the chapters in the current revision.

Hope I haven’t lost anyone yet.

This is, the original text, from the second revision (Prologue First draft) of the section I’m highlighting in this blog post. (870 words)

“Helena Blavatsky had founded the Theosophical Society several decades earlier on the premise that ‘There was no Religion higher than Truth’. Helena had heard of Jung’s alchemical breakthrough and had invited him, as well as some other guests, to her meeting that would come to alter the course of history. Other guests Helena had invited included Nikola Tesla, and the Maitreya.

Not unfamiliar with the value of being informed, Walter had become privy to the meeting being hosted by Helena Blavatsky at her upstate New York farm. It had been the Maitreya’s invitation that initially had sparked Walter’s interest, but when he came to learn who else was to be in attendance, he realized it was indeed an opportunity of a lifetime.

The meeting took place in the small hamlet of Fine, New York in the spring of 1930. They had assembled in a large open barn that was converted to host the event. Upon Walter’s arrival with Maitreya, he had argued politely with Helena over his intrusion, and she had reluctantly conceded that it would be in the best interest for everyone to allow him to stay, on the condition he agreed to remain quiet and would participate as merely an observer. Helena started off by thanking everyone for making their journeys to attend— except for Walter. She had, by this point, accepted that it was an inescapable reality that Walter would be sitting in on their meeting.

As the meeting began, Jung spoke first among the guests, and explained why he had been invited to this small farm in rural New York. Jung explained his own, personal, interest in alchemy. The history, the symbolism, the mythology, the philosophy, and the psychology behind all of it. He began explicating his own personal theories of collective unconsciousness, to which those in attendance began to listen to intently.

After having summarized his research and work in the fields of psychology and alchemy, Helena had thanked him and asked him to take his seat. Blavatsky then asked Tesla to speak. Tesla, by most measures, was the most interesting and yet unknown person among the crowd.

Tesla had wheeled out a large tubular device that was ensnared by a weave of coils that he had shipped there. He explained to the group that the device he was about to demonstrate was a much smaller version of the one he had back in his labs in Colorado Springs. He powered up his device and demonstrated the miraculous ability of his machine to transmit wireless power to energize a radio across the room. Leaving most of the onlookers confused at best, Tesla took his seat at Blavatsky’s request.

Walter, who had remained quiet and still up to this point, inched closer to Tesla to whisper something into his ear. Helena caught him with her gaze and he locked up, and stood with his back to the wall. Jung began to speak of Felix Klein, who had before his death passed on information regarding what he had coined hyperbolic geometry. Most of the information was beyond the scope of what Walter could follow, but Tesla had become completely captivated by the concept being presented.

As the founder of the Theosophical Society, Helena’s pursuit of knowledge and truth was what she considered the highest religion. These men were pioneers of truth, and as such, they would become heralds of a new dawn. Yet, it would be Walter’s bright new horizon, not Helena’s. She had not yet realized what a terrible mistake it had been on her part to allow Walter such close proximity to these great intellectual magnates.

After Jung had finished explaining Klein’s hyperbolic space and the theory, Tesla stood up and asserted that he could fashion a device that would be able to manipulate space-time using resonance and frequency. Jung had already applied the hyperbolic geometry to his own knowledge of alchemical symbolism and sacred geometry. Jung went on to propose that if he was given enough resources, and the freedom to work closely with Tesla and Klein, the three of them could unlock the secrets of the lapis philosophorum.

By the time that meeting had come to a close, he had gained everyone’s attention and favor by offering lucrative research and contracts to each and every one of them. In those early years, when Walter had held Maitreya, by a proverbial leash, and walked into the Blavatsky meeting, it had been clear what his intentions were: more money, more power, more control.

The Maitreya had tried futilely to passively intervene by explaining Tanha, but his efforts were wasted as Walter’s offers proved too enticing for the men. Walter had come to a compromise with the Maitreya by finally offering to create an Academy for their collective research, the Maitreya’s included. As this offer seemed to be mutually beneficial for everyone, the Maitreya had, reluctantly, agreed to it.

The Blavatsky meeting had shown Walter that the only person who could possibly stand in his path of conquest, was the very person he had begun exploiting to get him where he was. From the very beginning, the Maitreya had tried ceaselessly to convince Walter not to exploit so many people and hoard his profits to himself.”

This is the revision 3(.1 (start)) of the same section (Prologue Draft 2) (767 words)

“Helena Blavatsky had founded the Theosophical Society several decades earlier on the premise that ‘There was no Religion higher than Truth’. Helena had learned of Jung’s alchemical breakthroughs and had invited him, along with Nikola Tesla, the Maitreya, et al., to her historical meeting.

Knowing the value of being well informed, Walter had become privy to the meeting in upstate New York. It had been the Maitreya’s invitation that had sparked Walter’s interest initially, but when he learned who else was to be in attendance, he seized an opportunity of a lifetime.

Walter’s arrival with Maitreya, was unwanted if not unexpected by the host. Walter argued politely to quite an extent with Helena over his intrusion, and she had reluctantly conceded that it would be in the best interest for everyone to allow him to stay, on the condition that he agree to remain quiet and operated strictly in the capacity of an observer.

Helena began by thanking everyone for making their individual journeys to attend her conference— except of course, for Walter. As the meeting progressed, Jung introduced himself, and explained why he had been invited to speak.

Jung explained his own personal interest in alchemy along with the history, the symbolism, the mythology, the philosophy, and the psychology behind all of it.

After summarizing his research, Helena had thanked him and asked him to take his seat. Helena then asked Tesla to speak. Tesla, by most measures, was the most interesting and yet unknown person among the crowd.

Tesla had wheeled out a large tubular device that was ensnared by a weave of coils that he had shipped there. He explained to the group that the device he was about to demonstrate was a much smaller version of the one he had back in his labs in Colorado Springs. He powered up his device and demonstrated the miraculous ability of his machine to transmit wireless power to energize a radio across the room. Leaving most of the onlookers confused at best, Tesla took his seat at Blavatsky’s request.

Walter, who had remained quiet and still up to this point, inched closer to Tesla to whisper something into his ear. Helena caught him with her gaze and he locked up, and stood with his back to the wall. Jung began to speak of Felix Klein, who had before his death passed on information regarding what he had coined hyperbolic geometry. Most of the information was beyond the scope of what Walter could follow, but Tesla had become completely captivated by the concept being presented.

As the founder of the Theosophical Society, Helena’s pursuit of knowledge and truth was what she considered the highest religion. These men were pioneers of truth, and as such, they had become heralds of a new dawn. Yet, it would be Walter’s bright new horizon, not Helena’s. She had not yet realized what a terrible mistake it had been on her part to allow Walter such close proximity to these great intellectual magnates.

After Jung had finished explaining Klein’s hyperbolic space and the theory, Tesla stood up and asserted that he could fashion a device that would be able to manipulate space-time using resonance and frequency. Jung had already applied the hyperbolic geometry to his own knowledge of alchemical symbolism and sacred geometry. Jung went on to propose that if he was given enough resources, and the freedom to work closely with Tesla and Klein, the three of them could unlock the secrets of the lapis philosophorum.

By the time that meeting had come to a close, he had gained everyone’s attention and favor by offering lucrative research and contracts to each and every one of them. In those early years, when Walter had held Maitreya, by a proverbial leash, and walked into the Blavatsky meeting, it had been clear what his intentions were: more money, more power, more control.

The Maitreya had tried futilely to passively intervene by explaining Tanha, but his efforts were wasted as Walter’s offers proved too enticing for the men. Walter had come to a compromise with the Maitreya by finally offering to create an Academy for their collective research, the Maitreya’s included. As this offer seemed to be mutually beneficial for everyone, the Maitreya had, reluctantly, agreed to it.

The Blavatsky meeting had shown Walter that the only person who could possibly stand in his path of conquest, was the very person he had begun exploiting to get him where he was. From the very beginning, the Maitreya had tried ceaselessly to convince Walter not to exploit so many people and hoard his profits to himself.”

So at this point it should be clear there isn’t much difference between those two versions, yet. I needed to really dig into it and refine what it was I wanted in there, and cut the trim out and I think I was successful. First, I took the section and boiled it down to the following itemized list.

1 How Helena begins the meeting. Walter isn’t welcome. (Redundant) Jung is there.

2 Why is Jung there? Alchemy breakthrough. He’s credible.

3 Tesla is there too. Helena is a good host.

4 Tesla demonstrates wireless electricity

5 Walter sees Tesla as an economic opportunity. Jung mention’s Felix Klein’s theories of hyperbolic geometry. Tesla finds this intriguing.

6 Helena founded the Theosophical society. Foreshadow of new dawn, Walter’s. Walter’s attendance was a mistake. (POV regret)

7 Tesla can build off the foundations of hyperbolic geometry to manipulate space-time through resonance and frequency. Jung had applied the geometry to alchemical symbolism. A collaboration at this point could produce a philosopher stone. (lapis philosophorum).

8 Walter manages to leverage his wealth to offer employment to the duo. The Maitreya was unable to influence the series of events.

9 The Maitreya tries to instill Buddhism into Walter. Walter manipulates the situation and blessings of the Maitreya by creating an Academy of Alchemical Arts, this offer seemed to be mutually beneficial for everyone, the Maitreya had, reluctantly, agreed to it.

10 Maitreya was the last thing in Domini’s way to unfettered control.

 

After I had the essence boiled down like that, I re-thought the information and attempted to reorder it to make the flow more seamless and I generated the list below.

 

  • Helena founded the Theosophical society

  • Helena is a good host.

  • How Helena Begins the meeting.

  • Jung is there, He’s credible. Alchemical breakthrough.

  • Tesla is there too. Tesla demonstrates electrical breakthrough (wireless)

  • Jung mention’s Felix Klein’s theories of hyperbolic geometry. Tesla finds this intriguing.

  • Tesla can build off the foundations of hyperbolic geometry to manipulate space-time through resonance and frequency. Jung had applied the geometry to alchemical symbolism.

  • A collaboration at this point could produce a philosopher stone.

  • Walter sees Tesla as an economic opportunity.

  • Walter manages to leverage his wealth to offer employment to the duo.

  • The Maitreya was unable to influence the series of events.

  • The Maitreya tries to instill Buddhism into Walter. Walter manipulates the situation and blessings of the Maitreya by creating an Academy of Alchemical Arts, this offer seemed to be mutually beneficial for everyone, the Maitreya had, reluctantly, agreed to it.

  • Maitreya was the last thing in Domini’s way to unfettered control.

  • Foreshadow of new dawn, Walter’s. Walter’s attendance was a mistake.

Then, once I had the reordered list, I had to re-write it in narrative, which is what I’ve produced below. Revision 3.5.1 (Prologue Draft 3) (273 words):

 

“After founding the Theosophical Society, Helena Blavatsky hosted her annual meeting of great thinkers in the pursuit of truth. Helena had begun her meeting being a gracious host, by thanking everyone for the perilous travels some had made to be there. Carl Jung, a prominent Swiss Psychologist, had crossed the Atlantic on one of CAA’s airships to attend the meeting in upstate New York.

Jung’s presentation, demonstrating his advancements in practical alchemy, had captivated his audience, including a Serbian American scientist by the name of Nikola Tesla. Amid discussions by the group, Jung mentioned the hyperbolic geometric theories of Felix Klein. Tesla concluded that combining his own breakthroughs in electricity, with that of Jung’s in psychology, they could unlock the secret of squaring the circle; they could create the lapis philosophorum.

The prospect of a breakthrough with such implications weighed heavy on Walter’s mind as he observed the meeting from a distance. The financial lucrates presented were palpable. In the course of the evening, Walter managed to leverage his wealth to offer irrefusable employment opportunities to the two men. His efforts did not culminate without effort. The Maitreya had adamantly opposed an exploitative relationship between employer and employee for the sanctity of such work.

The Maitreya proposes, instead, to build on this mutually beneficial relationship by coming together in college. The Academy for Alchemical Research (TAFAR) was the agreement that followed. The compromise appeared to be collectively beneficial in that the whole of humanity might reap the benefits of their labors. Walter had reluctantly agreed to the compromise, knowing full well his time to circumvent the course of events was yet to come.”

 

And that’s the process. So, that began as 870 words, 5 step process nestled in one-round-of-revision, refined to 273 words.

 

Rinse. Repeat. Thousands of words more to go.

1 Comment


  1. Generally I don’t read article on blogs, however I want to
    state that this write-up very pressured me to try and do it!
    Your writing style continues to be surprised me. Thanks, very nice article.

Comments are closed.