Feb 9->10 Update

I should be sleeping, circa 1am.

I’m not.

I’m thinking about the fact I should be ‘writing’ which really means ‘editing’ which really means combing through line after line of sentences you’ve already written making them better or just deleting them entirely. I’m like 5 or so pages into revision three chapter 4. My goal was to be done the chapter by the time I updated the blog again. Last week was difficult, a lot of things weren’t equal, as the saying goes. So far this week is on pace to be as ‘normal’ as they come.

Tomorrow, err…today…later when I wake up, the goal will be to put a real push on chapter 4. I’ve already listened to the chapter in review, and it’s not too bad. I’m deleting a lot of stuff, and I feel good about it. Chapters 1 through 5 have this completely different pace and atmosphere, reading and editing them, than the chapters later in the book. There is a lot of obvious, evident, and also, of course, remembered, discovery in the narrative. A lot of notes, written into dialogue or setting that really don’t belong.

There are also places that scream opportunity, and those are hard to look over. I’m trying my best to make notes as I think of things, embedding a lot of foot notes in this draft with an accompanying note page for each chapter. A lot of it has to do with terminology usage and continuity, naming conventions for characters, foreshadowing and implicit meaning / themes.

I need to figure out something else, to do, while in the editing process, that doesn’t suck as much as editing does, yet I can still qualify as work. Maybe some shorter pieces could be refreshing. Editing could go a lot faster on those as well.

I’m going to leave the rest of this until morning, I’ve officially bored myself to fatigue.

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So yesterday, the 9th, was not as productive as I would have liked (I’m noticing a trend. It hardly ever is as productive as I’d like it to be.)

I could write about what’s distracting my mind and attention from not editing, but honestly, these thirty page chapter edits are horrible. You work for like an hour or more and realize you’ve only gone through about one or two pages, rethinking every word order of every sentence too many times. The bad spots of writing become highlighted and obscure from the narrative. I guess it is that struggle between being able to read a finished flawless product and allow yourself to let-go, into the narrative as opposed to forcing yourself never to fall into-it, as it were so you can maintain critical analysis of every word and term.

I think I need to create a structured methodology to follow when I find myself in these pits devoid of motivation. I need to do something fun like world building, or even rough-drafting. The problem with that is there is constantly a workload of to-be-edited work that follows those spurts of ‘fun-work’.

I feel like I keep telling myself the same excuses over and over again as to why I’m not or can’t do something, and I’m tired of hearing it but wonder what else should be said instead.

Good job in New Hampshire, Bernie. We got this.